While some people may know when it’s the right time to file for divorce, this decision can be a lot less clear for other people. This is because divorce is a complicated and emotionally difficult matter for many, and there’s nothing wrong with spending time weighing whether or not this is the right decision for you.
That being said, prolonging your marriage when you’re ready for divorce isn’t always the best thing to do, either. You may feel sentimental about what you and your spouse once had, or you may fear the many unknowns that come after divorce. You may not even know you’re ready for divorce, in which case you should read some of the signs that you may be below.
6 Common Signs That You’re Ready for Divorce
Divorce often doesn’t happen without warning. That means there are often clear signs that a marriage is on the rocks when either spouse is unsure about their readiness for divorce.
1. You Don’t Feel Close to Your Spouse
People experience love and closeness on an individual level, so it’s hard to provide general insight into what it means to not feel close to your spouse. That said, you may not feel close to your spouse if you don’t share details of your life with them, talk about your shared interests, make efforts to spend time together or feel as if you don’t love or even like your spouse.
2. You & Your Spouse Don’t Communicate
Communication is an important aspect of any divorce. When spouses communicate openly and clearly, they can build the trust and respect necessary to support the rest of their marriage.
A breakdown in communication, though, can spell disaster for any marriage. It can even create a toxic feedback loop in which poor communication creates problems that become even more difficult for a couple to work through with communication.
While communication between spouses can be improved, both parties have to be willing and make efforts to do so. When one or both aren’t, the marriage is at a serious risk of failure.
3. You & Your Spouse Stopped Arguing (or Argue All the Time)
Arguing in a marriage is not necessarily unhealthy, as long as the couple follows certain guidelines. It's important for both partners to remain respectful and calm when discussing any differences of opinion. Arguments should be seen as opportunities for couples to work together to reach a solution that works for both parties. If couples are able to keep their emotions in check, arguing can actually help strengthen their relationship by creating better communication and understanding between them.
If arguments don’t happen, it can mean that one or both spouses don’t trust that the argument will remain civil. Arguments may be avoided to keep the peace, but resentment may build up and spill over at a later time. By a similar token, spouses who argue all the time may not respect each other’s perspective on important issues, which can be detrimental to their marriage.
4. You & Your Spouse Don’t Share Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy includes everything from cuddles to kisses and sexual activity. For many people, physical intimacy is an incredibly important part of maintaining a relationship with their spouse. Without it, some say, your spouse can end up feeling more like a roommate than your intimate life partner.
Physical intimacy – and sexual activity, especially – ebbs and flows over time. So, it’s natural for it to fluctuate as you and your spouse’s relationship changes over time. That said, if it ceases altogether without a clear alternative reason, it could be a sign that you and/or your spouse no longer want physical intimacy from the other and are growing apart.
5. You & Your Spouse Have Failed to Resolve Issues
If you and your spouse have attempted to work out your differences or find solutions to problems each of you recognizes in your marriage, this could be a sign that divorce is right for you.
People change over time, and it’s possible that you and your spouse have grown far enough apart that even your best efforts to come back together fail. It can be a heart-wrenching realization, but staying in a marriage that is truly over can feel a lot worse.
6. You Found This Article
If you found this article through a web search, it can be a sign that you’re seriously considering divorce. While there may still be hope to save your marriage through therapy, counseling, or mediation, these may not be right for you or have failed in the past.
In that case, you might wish to speak with a divorce attorney who can explain the divorce process to you. Through a legal consultation with an experienced professional, you can have the information and support you need to take the next step.
For compassionate legal counsel, reach out to Kay Polk, Attorney at Law today.